


Lost and Found

by ilovemygaydad



Category: Sander Sides, Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst to Fluff, Fluff, human!AU, roommates!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 11:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14211792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemygaydad/pseuds/ilovemygaydad
Summary: Virgil takes a walk through the park with some darker reasons.Warnings: suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, self-hatred, swearing, verbal violence, anger





	Lost and Found

Virgil kicked at the gravel path that he was walking on with mild irritation. He had a bottle of pills in his pocket, and it was nearing midnight. No one would find him until it was far too late to save him. But he couldn’t do that because the mothers who would visit the park with their children in the morning would be pissed to find a dead body. Truthfully, it would suck to find a dead body anywhere, but once your children were involved, it was a whole different horror story.

There was, however, a river nearby. Down the pills, maybe buy a bit of alcohol from one of the still open bars, wait for the sweet release of death, and have the river wash away his body. That… wasn’t actually a horrible idea. Patton, Logan, and Roman would never think to go looking near the river… He could get away with it without a hitch. Yeah. That would do. Virgil meandered towards the river, which luckily was only a few blocks away. He had gotten to the borders of the park when he heard a gasp and a yell.

“Logan! Logan, I found him!” Patton’s voice, high and grating, rang through the empty night. Virgil could barely make it a step before he was pushed into the fence—pinned to the metal bars by a short, angry man. A sly smile tugged at Virgil’s lips.

“Whatcha doing out here so late, Patton? I’d’ve thought you’d be in bed by now, pal.” His voice dripped cynicism, and Patton shifted uneasily under his intense gaze, but he soon regained his former fury.

“What the fuck, Virgil? You scared the hell out of me! And Logan and Roman! We’ve been searching for you for well over an hour. Just because we were all out does not mean that you should take that as a free pass to commit suicide. You promised that you would talk to us if you felt like this again, Virg—” Patton rambled, his grip on Virgil’s shirt getting tighter with each word until he was finally pulled away by a coolly level Logan.

“Patton,” Logan started. “Don’t.” Although he seemed cold and calm, Lo’s eyes told an entirely different story. Pain and anger alike laced in the watery blue, and the sharp tone to his voice gave it all away.

Virgil pushed himself off the gate and began to stride off, using those little acting tips he’d picked up from their resident drama nerd to fake his ignorance. “Patton, honestly. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just out here on a nice midnight stroll. I was enjoying the fresh air.”

“The air is rarely ever—”

Patton cut Logan’s statement off. “Virgil, you took my entire bottle of sleeping pills.”

The accused froze, slowly turning back to his friends. Patton had managed to wriggle himself out of Logan’s grasp and was now standing in all of his five foot six glory; hands clutching at the sleeves of the sweater around his shoulders harshly. “You left the prescription bag on the counter. Of course I would notice they were gone.”

“I didn’t—” Virgil cut himself off, turning away so he didn’t have to see the disappointment on his friends’ faces. Roman was still nowhere to be found, and honestly, who was even surprised? “Patton, let me be. I’m just outside for a walk.”

“We did, um…” Logan’s voice cracked. Wrinkled paper in shaky hands was the only noise for a few seconds before he continued. “We found your note. Under your pillow. I apologize for searching your room, but we were very worried.”

Virgil spun back around, angry. “Maybe you two care, but Roman? This would probably give him joy. He’s done nothing but bring me down in the four months that I’ve lived with you guys. He isn’t even here right now!”

“That’s because he’s currently searching the hospital for any John Does to make sure that you fucking aren’t one of them!” Patton yelled, finally losing his top. “He was so worried about you that he offered to try to hack into your Find My iPhone to track you! And you won’t even give him the time of fucking day to realize that he’s actually a decent person and not the piece of shit that you think he is!”

Virgil was stunned. He vaguely heard Logan quietly chastise Patton for his temper, but everything that Virgil had built up came crumbling down. The sarcastic facade, the lying—it finally had reached its end. A choked sob raked through his body as he fell to his knees. Within an instant, two sets of arms wrapped around him. He cried until he finally passed out from the exhaustion.

* * *

 

“Oh, fuck, he looks like a freaking corpse!” Roman exclaimed as soon as he walked in the apartment door. Virgil was on the couch with at least three blankets on him. His normal ghostly pallor was somehow more pale with the foundation carefully wiped off, and deep purple bruises had formed under his eyes. God only knows when he had last slept.

“People do tend to look quite ghastly when they pass out, Roman,” Logan chided, carding his fingers through Virgil’s hair. Patton was pacing; to be completely honest, he looked as if he’d been ran ragged. His hair was falling all over the place, and his glasses were crooked, and even his cardigan looked off-kilter. Logan had relayed all of the night’s events to Roman, and the whole thing just put him  _off_. Patton rarely ever yelled—let alone swore. And Virgil’s speech about him was just… It made him feel awful.

“Hey, you guys go to sleep. You both have really important classes tomorrow, and I can easily skip ballroom.” Roman was immediately met by protests, but he quickly shoved his two friends into their respective bedrooms. Virgil would’ve killed them if they missed their classes, and Roman really wanted to make an effort to be a better friend.

So he sat on the armchair next to Virgil and waited. It was boring, and admittedly Roman would rather be doing something stimulating, but he watched his friend closely. If there were any signs of distress, Roman would immediately go and comfort the sleeping man until the shaking or fidgeting went away. He did this for hours until finally Virgil’s eyes fluttered open.

“Um, hey, Virgil,” Roman said awkwardly, running a hand through his hair and leaning back in the chair. Virgil slowly sat up and blinked, trying to get a sense of his surroundings. Allowing him the time to reset, Roman stood up and got a glass of water, bringing it back to the living room. “Water?”

Virgil nodded quickly and took the cup, quickly gulping down the water. He set the glass down on the coffee table and sat silently; his eyes refusing to leave his lap. Roman sighed and kneeled down next to Virgil. This was going to be excruciating if they refused to talk about what had happened. As often as they liked to, dancing around the problem would bring nothing but pain and awkwardness.

“Virgil, I am extremely sorry for how I’ve treated you. It’s absolutely unacceptable—”

“It’s fine, Roman. I don’t care.” Normally, this would have been enough to send Roman on his merry way, but he knew better now. Virgil’s try for a nihilistic tone was tainted with bitter melancholy, and it was obvious that his words didn’t reflect his actual feelings.

“No. It’s not. I was ridiculously unfair to you, and I should not have acted in such a way. I’m supposed to live in a honorable manner, yet I have spent months causing you anguish. I am  _so_  sorry.” Roman fell back onto his heels, glad to have finally apologized, but wary that Virgil would dismiss him as lying. He was truly ashamed of himself. He was supposed to be nice and good and helpful. He wasn’t supposed to be the villain, yet he had unknowingly pushed his friend deeper into his already depressed mindset, and that wasn’t right at all.

“It’s okay,” Virgil whispered, hesitantly placing his hand on Roman’s shoulder. “I forgive you.”

Roman felt his heart sink. “Why? You should  _hate_  me. Hell,  _I_  hate me. I’ve never given you more than a sideways glance, and you’re just going to forgive me?” Tears were threatening to spill, which was almost poetically symbolic of how much Roman felt like he was drowning in his own self hate.

“Look. Admittedly, you’ve treated me like garbage for the past four months. However, I do understand that you’re not a shitty person. Usually. You can be kinda shitty at times—usually when you’re trying to get over one of your ridiculous breakups.” Virgil cracked a small smile, looking through his stupidly long bangs at Roman.

“I’m not that—Wait, yeah… Yeah, that’s fair. I can be pretty dramatic,” Roman conceded. He tended to block the others out during those periods, often replying using snappy insults rather than civil conversation. Virgil was usually the main target of this, and his sarcastic responses only further spun the situation into bickering. He was kind of terrible at these points.

Virgil ruffled Roman’s already disheveled hair gently. “I know… I know, Roman.” He understood all of the things that Roman was currently feeling. The self doubt, the hatred, the remorse. And he knew that Roman wasn’t going to let it go until he felt like he had sufficiently atoned for his mistakes.

Roman’s walls crumbled, and the first few tears silently dropped onto his black sweatpants, and Virgil pulled him in for a hug, sliding himself off of the couch to get a better hold. From the outside, it was a strange sight; the normally confident Roman was crying, and the usually morose Virgil was providing comfort. But to them, it was the beginning of a solid friendship. Sure, they’d have rough spots in the future, but any two people do. Nothing can be absolutely perfect—Roman knew that well—but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth putting effort into.

They finally found something that they could agree on, and it certainly wasn’t going to be lost any time soon.


End file.
